May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
