Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
