we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
