it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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