You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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