it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
