but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
