Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
