How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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