that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
