When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
