Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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