apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
