If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
