He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
