Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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