ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
