The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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