My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
only you would photoshop your dick
she told me i tasted like america
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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