Kiss
Puke
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
