She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
