when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
