I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
