well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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