did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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