is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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