Sry I called you an 8
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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