I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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