38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
