i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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