We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
