if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
