i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
