I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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