We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize