you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
