had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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