you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
