I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize