Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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