What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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