are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
