Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
