I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i believe in u and ur pee
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
