I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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