your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
