i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
