just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Randomize
