fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
