But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
