we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
