Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
