Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
