i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
