Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
no you cant smoke seaweed
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
