how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
