physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
