Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How external is "for external use only"?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
me + whiskey = a bad person
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
