you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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