She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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